I'm on the Edge of Glory...I think

Something beautiful. And in my life. Taken at a spiritual
retreat in Nottingham, Pennsylvania.

Blogfail. I have not posted anything since September 17^th! Reasoning for this includes the fact that I have actually been trying to work hard at being a legit missionary. Whether or not I am succeeding at this – I am trying! Perhaps another reason I have not blogged is because I have been diligently working on my quarterly missionary newsletter (which by the way I got sent to the printers today!) Finally, let me share what is probably the most realistic reason I have not blogged: our chaplain commented that sometimes blogging simply leads to people trying to portray a glorified version of their life when it is in fact, not that special.

I dare not try to express that this view is exactly what has kept me from sharing my life as a missionary in the past two weeks; however, his remarks resonated with me to a particular extent that I wanted to blog about them. While my life is not always “glorious” – it is beautiful. Part of why it is beautiful is because I choose to believe in this. I desire to believe that every day I can wake up and choose to see beauty all around me. God gives us that choice. We can choose His love or not. That’s it.  

Share the crazies. ß This is a comment I typed in order to remember I need to share the experiences in life that allow me to see how fortunate I am. For instance, allow me to share a few moments from yesterday that illustrate this idea in three parts:

1. At about 1:55 pm I was walking over to the Berklee College of Music to meet with a student and I passed a man laying on a stoop along Massachusetts Avenue. It appeared he was passed out, in pain, and possibly drunk from the half-empty bottle of vodka beside him.

2. At approximately 10:50 pm I was walking down Mass Ave towards my apartment. I first passed a group of four young teenagers. One of the girls was barely wearing any clothing and allowing her assumed boyfriend to touch and grab all over. Then I saw another young couple. The girl was clearly feeling very hurt while the boy was aggressively trying speak at her. It appeared to be an overly-dramatic scene from a movie.

3. As I brushed my teeth around 11:35 pm I heard shouting coming from the street outside. After peeking out, I saw a woman and a man quarrelling. From the dialogue I picked up things the woman was yelling such as, “I don’t even know you!” and “Quit following me!” and “Do you want to rob me? I have nothing! No money!” and “You’re not even from around here. Are you Irish?” From the context clues I was offered, the two appeared to be strangers, possibly homeless, and the man was insistent on following the female. Amidst the conversation there flew many a curse word and included in the event was some pushing and shoving. (Thankfully the police arrived shortly thereafter.)

Now, in an attempt to be clear – I do not want to convey these instances in a sarcastic or humorous light. These were real events. This is real life. This is reality! I saw and heard each of the previously noted debacles. What I certainly want to do is make it known that life is not meant to be this way, nor does it have to be. I see the pain and suffering of many people around me both at MIT and in the area I live in. On one hand, I feel very sad. I wonder “Why?” and think “What the hell am I doing here?” On the other hand, I am convicted in why I am serving as a missionary.

It is evident that our world is in need of love. God’s love. And if I can bring even a fraction of that to the people I am allowed to work with every day, I think that I am doing an okay job. The world is not black and white. It is super confusing. And it is certainly not glorious. But it can be. We have been given the knowledge and instruments to change it.

This blog is not intended to bring “glory” to my life. At the least, I hope it could offer the least bit of glory to the One with whom glory should reside. Nonetheless, I am so glad a small remark made by someone (a pretty awesome someone at that) could inspire me to look deeper into a profound aspect of life. I like to think my life is special and I am grateful that you are sharing in this journey with me. Blogsuccess?